Tag: sleep

The Bougie Baby

Nine months ago, I had a baby. I never thought I would have a baby, so when it actually happened I was pretty surprised. Not just surprised by the whole “oh wow, my vagina is ripped to pieces” but also the “oh, I own this thing now, and if something happens it’s my fault.” I’ve had a dog for a while, which I thought was pretty similar, but it turns out that it is not. This is especially true right now, as I listen to my baby sob over our heat-sensing baby monitor, and my dog lays calmly at...

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Stepping Away from the Tribe

When I think of a mom who does “co-sleeping” with her kids, I picture a wild-eyed, frizzy-haired, make-up-less woman with a bandanna on her head. She sports a Mighty Ducks-style flying V of fellow breastfeeding, baby-wearing, touchy-feely types who flank her as she walks down the street. Sometimes they sing. And then they approach the rival gang, Soccer Moms, with bleached hair helmets, manicures, and coiffed twins in BOB strollers. The music becomes more rock-and-roll. They dance fight. But I don’t know where I get off being such an asshole about it. Just as racists swear by their black...

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