Tag: marriage

Meeting My New Self (And Plenty of Others Too)

On a group chat with my friends last week, one of the most bad-ass single ladies I know gave us the latest on her adventures in the New York dating scene: “I had a first date last night and when I joked about mansplaining, he said “I don’t know what that is and my friends told me I don’t need to” and I was like CHECK PLEASE.” As we all chimed in with our virtual high fives and patriarchy-smashing gifs, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit like a fraud. I had been on a date that night,...

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A Very Graceless Valentine

Ah, Valentine’s Day. If there’s a holiday more weighted with guilt and angst, we defy you to name it. Managing to combine the gift-giving stress of Christmas with the you-must-have-a-date pressure of New Year’s Eve and the crass commercialism of, well, everything America puts its hands on, Valentine’s Day is an occasion that begs to be mocked. We initially thought of posting just one piece from an outlier, talking about their unconventional take on the day. And then we realized that the Graceless community is nothing but outliers. So we put a question to all our writers: What’s your...

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The Bad Wife

I was married in September. It didn’t give me a lot of time to adjust to my new role as a wife before the holidays rolled around and by the time Thanksgiving hit, I was mostly panicked. Let me be clear – I am not talking about my role within my marriage, which really didn’t change at all when I slipped a ring on my finger and made promises out loud that we’d made in private for years. I am talking about what it means to everyone else in the world who sees that you are a Wife, and...

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A Rose, By Any Other Name, Must Be A Woman

My husband and I were good friends for more than a year before we started dating. After that, it felt right very quickly – we were talking marriage only a few months later and got engaged after only eight months. It didn’t feel fast. I had dated a guy for almost five years before I met Tim, and I had never been sure. This time I was. One of our first conversations on the subject of marriage, weirdly, was about last names. I had grown up like most boy crazy teen girls, doodling my name with my crush’s last...

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The Price of Comfort

You’re unhappy in your marriage. Or not unhappy, perhaps. Maybe just unsettled. You’ve been in it for a long time, and you’re finding yourself twisting about in boredom and apathy and sometimes near-hatred. You’re increasingly frustrated at the tiny things and daydream about how blissful it would be to just be *alone.* To not have to be painfully polite to somebody or consider their feelings in every goddamn decision you make. Or to simply have the ability to sit in silence for more than 10 minutes – no one questioning, demanding, requesting. Just quiet. Marriage is arguably the hardest...

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