Wheatgrass and American Cheese

Mattel, the maker of Barbie, recently announced a new line of body types for its dolls. Adding curvy, petite, and tall versions of the hollow-eyed minx, the decision by the 71-year-old toy company was a sure sign that the tide is turning (oh so goddamn SLOWLY) away from the idea of a perfect female form. So. Since we’ve got that problem all sewn up, let’s take a look at what else the universe has in its bag o’ tricks for the ladyfolk. [Shuffles hand around in duffel bag] Reproductive rights? Nah, those are pretty much gone anyway. Equal pay?...

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